Faux pas is no más

Touché, Targét

2008-03-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

Typically I am beating down the doors at my local Target the Sunday morning that the newest Go International collection launches. However, with the newest collection by Jovovich-Hawk, I slowly strolled in around mid-afternoon just out of pure curiosity.

I was just as disappointed in person as I had been when I first glimpsed their images online. Hippie, slouchy and very beachy-surfer-thismustbewhattheywearinCalifornia-ish.

Perhaps that it's just not my style, or maybe the fact that not a single piece on the rack was in season or "in" this year, or maybe it was just that everything looked like a thrift store find that Mischa Barton would have donned and looked awkward and frumpy in; regardless of the reason the collection was overwhelmingly disappointing.

When I returned home I scoured the Internet, trying to find some tid-bit of information about the next incoming designer collection, so that at the very least I had something to look forward to.

And while I found countless websites raving about Gryson's bag line that was on
its way, or the jewelery by Subversive that was itching to explode off of their website and into the stores; I could not find a name for the next Go International label
that wasn't any more than a speculation.

And I quickly found (by my uber Sherlock-like detective skills) that that's because Target plans to launch their own Go International line, aptly titled the "GO International Private Label Collection 1". Not exactly catchy, but to the point.

And, I'm afraid and slightly excited to say, I think that Target may have blown all those big name designers out of the water. For their own personal "inspired by" line is fabulously impressive. No styles from five years ago, no out-dated prints, no giant culottes that give you an insta mom-jeans pooch!

This painterly patterned dress is very reminiscent of the Dolce & Gabbana dresses that sashayed down the runway this year. The black and white dress is fantastic; you could easily wear it as just a skirt with a bright sweater over it to break up the painterly look a bit, or even put a tie-neck satin shirt underneath for a modern secretarial look.

This black paper-bag high-waisted skirt is so flattering and surprisingly easy to pull off. Simply tuck in an attractive blouse or shirt and viola! They've paired it with a red ruffle neck tunic, which would easily translate to a dressy going out outfit with straight leg dark denim and heels.

Part space-age, part Disco, this shift dress can easily go from day to night with a few key accessory changes. In the picture, they've layered a bright yellow tank underneath the dress, which can help play up the playful nature of this outfit for daytime wear. Pair it with flat black studded gladiator sandals for the day, and with heeled or wedge gladiator sandals for night. (While I know other shoes will work as well, I want to wear gladiator sandals like it's my job, and this dress would work well with the style.)

Also, it has pockets. And who doesn't love pockets?

Another pocketed shift dress, but this time in a color-blocked pattern with two of the seasons biggest color trends; neon and metallic. As fabulous as it is on it's own as a dress, it could be easily worn as just a skirt or just a blouse. By draping a black tunic over the top, you can let the neon take center stage as the boldest part of the outfit, or cover the neon with a grey skirt for a classy monochromatic outfit. Besides the obvious patent leather black pump, be bold and wear a metallic or neon shoe to play up that part of the dress.

Also, pockets!

Another shift dress (I seriously, cannot wait for this collection to boost my work/going out wardrobe!), this one in a beautiful shade of blue. It also has the painterly pattern that is similar to the black & white dress, yet it's more muted because of it being only varying shades of blue.

Perfect with a statement necklace and opaque black tights and booties for those colder days. Toss the tights but keep the necklace and add a wedge heel in a patent leather brights when the weather warms up.

Also, I love that almost everything in this line has pockets!

From the runway to the red carpet, one-shoulder dresses have been everywhere this season. It's in a great shade of cobalt blue, and with the jersey knit it's guaranteed to drape beautifully. It appears to be incredibly figure flattering because of said drape, and since it doesn't hit too high on the leg, it can be a classy take on the typical going out dress.

No pockets it seems, but hey, can't win them all!

Vests were all over the runway this season; from Proenza Schouler's Militant-Safari double vest approach to YSL's boyish blazer-like vests and Vena Cava's sexy halter-neck vest, they were inescapable. This vest is multi-optional- button it up and belt it and then toss another vest on top to recreate the Proenza Schouler look, or throw a prep school blazer over it for that undone businessy look. Or, (depending on how low it's cut when buttoned+ the size of the chest of the wearer), wear it with nothing underneath for an unexpected sexy night look.

And while there are many more pieces that I could easily talk about, I want to end this post with this beautiful dress. Grecian inspired, it gives the one shoulder illusion while still having a slightly more modest cover-up underneath. Its soft draping and color pallet of peach and grey almost invokes a image of a ballet dancer. If you wear this dress, you will no doubt be pirouetting and twirling all night long.

A ballet slipper may seem like the obvious choice, but err more to the side of a heeled gladiator sandal in a neutral tone.

Aren't you glad-e-ator?

2008-03-10T12:33:00.000-07:00

When the first Balenciaga knee-high gladiator sandal strutted down the runway I knew it was love.

When I saw the ankle version on Jennifer Connelly I knew I was ready to make a commitment.

When I saw the price... I felt that I was dumped by a thousand exes... or, better make that six thousand, nine hundred and forty-five exes.

While I sadly cannot afford to purchase the fabulous Balenciaga gladiator sandals and still afford to pay rent, I have found other amazing gladiator sandals that just might fill the void.

These amazing, camel leather gladiator sandals are from Nine West. While the brown version is timely for its safari inspired style, it is also available in black for that Balenciaga-esq feeling.

Calvin Klein's take on the gladiator sandal helps bring it to a new level of sophistication. Stylish and classic, it could easily be worn with an evening gown to bring a bit of edge; or pair it with shorts to completely showcase the shoe.

Typically, an ankle strap can shorten a woman's leg, but this high-wedge nude version by Twelfth St. by Cynthia Vincent is extremely leg-lengthening. Its thick silver buckles bring a bit of shine to the overall clean, stream-lined look. This also can pair well with the Safari look of this season. These would look best with a short skirt, dress or short; absolutely best to show some leg with this pair!

For those women who want to remain stylish, yet need to don a flat for their day-to-day activities, fear not, there are styles for you as well! Amazingly, these flat bronze gladiators are from Target, and will only set you back $24.99!

Another flat gladiator sandal, this strappy black number by Farylrobin is a bit pricier at $190, but is still considerably less expensive than the Balenciaga version. It has a tough Roman-esq feel, but could easily transition from day to night with the right outfit change. A worthy investment.

Suffering From Temperly Insanity

2007-09-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

Like the dawning of a new day after a storm, Alice Temperly is providing me with a glimmer of hope that inexpensive lines by big name designers for large marketable chain stores do not need to be made of pure polyester. Behold, the Alice Temperly Go International line for Target!

I plan on being at my local Target when they open! While I normally try not to be awake at 8 am on a Sunday, I can make exceptions when dealing with shopping.

Here are my predictions/desires:

This dress is adorable, although I did think it was a belted coat at first... It's a good length, and perfect for the upcoming season... I will def. get this.

Hmm... the dress apparently comes in gray too... which make this all the more difficult in the end- gray is also a good fall/winter color.... and since black is the more common of a choice... I guess it will come down to how it looks on me. I don't particularly care for that belt. I think it looks too wide and appears to be squashing the already thin model, so I can't imagine how it would look on me. I do like the long sweater though- it looks very warm and cosy, but I'm left wondering how chunky of a knit it is... remember ladies, if a knit is chunky, just imagine what it makes you look like.
I adore the hat...it looks just slouchy and soft enough to be trendy, but not so french that people will assume I'm a mime. Although with the black and white striped shirt...it's v.v. mime-ish. I covet the jacket... I will make it mine. And the pants... well, in this picture they look like plain black pants, so it may not be worth the effort.
Okay, so I'm buying this jacket. I don't know if my bulging closet can handle all this, but yes, I will somehow make room for another jacket in my life. The ruffle detailing looks sweet, and the ecru color gives it an innocent touch, but the way the bottom of the jacket is curved up... gives it a slight naughty appeal.
Well, the fit of the pants are terrible. I'm having trouble telling if they're cropped or shoved into boots, but regardless, no. The color of the jacket is nice, but I think I'm over military jackets for a while... and I'd really love to see the blouse by itself- with the tie at the neck it looks like one of the DKNY secretary blouses.

I already know I will not be buying this. It will make me look preggers. And that is not a good look.
I think I like this coat... maybe...kinda... I can't tell. These icons need to be bigger! My eyes are getting bad, goddamnit.
The blue blouse looks sweet, and I like the unexpected color, instead of it just being white or black. The black mini... well, anyone can make a basic black mini.... but not just anyone can wear them. Curvy women such as myself, a mini should not grace our thighs.
I am not a fan of pants this length- specially for fall/winter. A cropped pant has no use to me in colder months; I will have to wear tights under it, and one should not have to don tights + pants just to stay warm. The vest is eh. The shirt looks adorable and Victorian, and resembles the gray dress in this line.
Adorable sweater! I love the stark black & white leaf designs on the body, and the striped sleeves. Very sweet, very french.

I'm unsure on how I feel about this dress... the pattern seems very detailed and graphic in this picture... but a halter dress in this time of year.... well, I suppose you could wear this to some semi-formal dance; for it seems to casual to wear to a fancier party, and the print isn't really a fall/winter print... But the color scheme is a variation on a classic... instead of just black & white, you have tiny pops of bright pink which wakes up the entire piece.
The dress is cute. Simple black dress- nothing too special. Kind of reminds me what one would wear during a dance recital. When they weren't the prima ballerina.
While the shirt looks sweet and Victorian, the overalls? Overalls just scream "hick" to me. Even though these overalls are shaped differently than ones you might wear while schucking corn, they're still overalls.
The dress looks sweet, and by the way she's standing you can see through her cap sleeve, so it obviously has a sort of sheer overlay; although it's hard to see in this picture.
The pants look very sailor-esq. This seems to be quite popular with Go International designers. The vest has a funky motif, which will help it stand out from other sweater vests. I may try to pick this up, as I'm getting into sweater vests for this season.

The sweater dress is v.v. French, but then again, it could also be because of the slouchy beret she's wearing as well. I like the crisp white diamonds that dot the scoop neckline. And a belted waist is very in right now, as long as you tie this at your true waist.
While I like the deep cobalt blue of the pants, I shall not be won over by any cropped pants. It's just not happening. The tie blouse is already one on my list of must-gets, and the black vest is a maybe.... I'll have to decide in person.
Overalls are just wrong. It doesn't matter if they're a skirt, jeans, cords, pants, wide leg, skinny leg, whatever! Just say no.
Well, it looks very basic... Black pants, black jacket, black tie blouse. Basic black. woo.
The tunic looks cute- almost as a knit jumper over the white button-down blouse. The fingerless gloves are in this season... although my fingers tend to get quite easily frozen, so I don't think I'll be jumping on that bandwagon.

Simply Vile

2007-09-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

This Sunday was the opening day of the new Vera Wang line for Kohl's. As much as I am not a fan of Kohl's, I was compelled to rush over to see what "Simply Vera" goodies I could find. My mind was so drawn to the designer name, and assuming it was similar to the "Go International" line for Target, I felt that I would find a few fab pieces.

But as we all remember that little chestnut; to assume makes and ass out of u and me.

(On another note- All the sizes run HUGE. I went down one size to an 8 & a M, and everything swam on me. I needed a 6 & a S, which almost never happens.)

I first went over to where the accessories section. While Kohl's bags typically appear cheaply made, they normally have an inexpensive price tag to accompany it. The Vera bags had the cheap material, but not the price.
This clutch looks richer in the picture than in person. Up close, it's a shiny cheap mess. It's "faux patent leather". sad. And, it's $59.
Or, for ten bucks more, you can get an even cheaper looking "faux patent leather" frame bag. Its puffy handle, and cheap plastic closure make this purse look even cheaper than the clutch.

This dress... Would you really want to pay $128 for a long shapeless sack of polyester and spandex? It looks so cheap up close it made my skin crawl.
This dress is $138... Looks sweet and simple and unassuming online, but in the store it looks like a cheap nylon dress that someone hastily stitched little crystals on so that some woman would wander over going "oooo.... shiny..."
I tried this skirt on- it was horrifying. I felt that I had swaddled some brocade curtains around my legs, total Gone with the Wind style.... It was enormous, and fell at mid-calf, which is an eternally unflattering length for every woman. Not only was it too expensive at $98, I would have had to alter it myself or send it to a tailor to shorten it.
For $48 you get to swath yourself in more polyester! It comes complete with a polyester/spandex belt. Which honestly looks like you grabbed an elastic PJ pant lining and wrapped it around your waist. Not a good look.
So, at this point you can see the trend... Vera likes this faux-ruched bodice that is held together with a spandex tie. It's still polyester, just longer... and no better, at $88.

It's like the purple polyester shirt and the black and blue polyester dress had a baby! (Is it bad that I originally type "Polyester shit" instead of shirt... Freudian slip I guess.)
I tried this on... and I did contemplate buying it for a brief moment... it was one of the view items that was made of cotton. (No Polyester!!)... it looked okay when it was tucked into a skirt... loose and the skinniest woman would look preggers. But for $54 bucks... I asked myself, "If this wasn't Vera for Kohl's, and was just some random Kohl's brand, would I pay $54 for it." Oh, that's right. No.
This was the best item she created... at $48, a decent cardi price, it was the only thing that actually seemed worth it. But then I remembered, I can get virtually the same thing at Zara for twenty bucks.
I loved the color of this top- it's completely Violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (which is a good color, just not an overall good look- no one wants to resemble an overstuffed blueberry). Which sadly, you basically end up looking like, in this $58 polyester ruffled baggy nightmare.
More Polyester... its a shame, you know? Just because something is less expensive doesn't mean it has to be made out of polyester.... And just because it's sold at Kohl's doesn't mean it needs to look like only middle-aged housewives who wish they worked in a corporate environment would buy it.

Thou Shall Always Covet

2007-08-29T12:03:00.001-07:00

Dear God,

Can you please send me this bag? I'd really appreciate it.

Or some money to buy it would work as well.

Thanks!

Love & Kisses,

Liz

Elevator To No Where...

2007-08-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

On my late lunch break today I decided to head over to Saks to see the new shoe floor. Apparently giving shoes their own floor also warrants it's own zip code.... In an "only-in-New-York" kind of way, it also comes equipped with it's own Express Elevator, Private VIP Room, and a Chocolate Cafe...

So, I sauntered out of 30 Rock, danced across the street to the tune of horns blaring, fought my way through the entire perfume department, and found myself face-to-face with the elevator bank. Now, Saks has around 8 elevators, give or take, (I didn't count exactly), but I saw that there was an elevator that was destined to go to the Shoe Floor. How did I know this? There was an enormous purple sign above the elevator that said "EXPRESS ELEVATOR TO SHOE FLOOR," with an adorable scrolled shoe underneath the writing.

I watched as the elevator's doors opened and I quickly nipped inside before the doors shut. The elevator was quite crowded with close to eleven other people. I stood there for a moment before I realized that we weren't moving. I glanced over to the buttons and saw that no one had pressed the 8th floor (which was the shoe floor). So, I leaned over and pressed it and the elevator gave a lurch and started climbing.

"Oh," said snooty woman one behind me, "it's moving, it's not broken."

I watched as people on both sides of me started pushing other buttons for other floors... which of course, did not light up.

"This elevator only goes to the shoe floor." I stated

"What?! Why? How were we suppose to know that??" snooty woman two demanded.

"Well," I said gently as I pointed to the purple signs on all of the elevator's walls, "There are signs that say that this elevator only goes to the shoe floor."

There was a chorus of grumbling behind me, while a man frantically jabbed at the 5th floor button to no avail.

"It should have been better marked!" exclaimed snooty woman one.

I glanced over my shoulder, and with an eyebrow raised said, "There was a giant purple sign above this elevator that said 'EXPRESS ELEVATOR TO SHOE FLOOR' on it."

"Well, it should have been better marked!!" shrilled snooty woman one again.

The elevator doors opened, and fearing for my sanity, I exited the elevator hastily.

....not like I'm really upset about this, in fact, I find it quite funny that I am the smartest person in an elevator of twelve.

*On a different note, the floor is ostentatiously ornate; shoes lining tables of varied shapes to keep the eye moving, very fluid and sleek. As I was perusing what I cannot afford, a sales clerk came up to me and offered me a chocolate. I went with the pink champagne milk chocolate, as I know from past experiences that I hate the taste of violets... it wasn't worth the calories. I should had eaten the chocolate shoe.*

** On another different note; if anyone would like to buy me shoes from Saks I am taking donations. We thank you for your support.**

Pants Schmants?

2007-08-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

Yay me! I made these pants in my sewing class at FIT and I wanted to share them with everyone!

Eggplants; Not Just For Eatin'

2007-07-25T13:37:00.001-07:00

I've decided I want the next purse I buy to be eggplant in color... and preferably patent eggplant.

Much like the color and style seen on this bag.

While I find this bag to be v.v. classy too, I really want to focus my search (and my cash) on my patent eggplant bag.

Oh, and I simply cannot afford theYSL downtown tote that is patent eggplant. I just can't spend over s paycheck's worth of money on a purse!!

If King Midas Were A Designer...

2007-07-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

The bathing suit and dress shown are made out of a finely weaved gold threat... to wear these pieces is to literally to be draped in gold... It's $82,000, which is an awful lot to pay for something that is not even suppose to be worn in water.

That's right folks, you're not suppose to swim in this swim suit.

seems very... practical.

Fisherspooner's Best Mix

2007-07-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

I went to Target on Sunday to hit the opening day of the Libertine for Target Go International line. (well, three different Targets to be exact).

I am extremely pleased with my purchases, and while I'm sure there will be many more to come, I will share my fab finds thus far:

I got this cardi. (so prep-school adorable!)

This vest (I never stopped loving skulls)

This dress (while v.v. cute, I must belt it or my waist is gone)

This tee (I completely heart the detail of the tree)

and this blouse (which is fab, as long as you don't match it with the red striped jacket and pants)

Then I went to the 2nd Target, where I was met by an unfortunate surprise; they still had Patrick Robinson's line still out and hadn't put out a stitch of Libertine!! I asked a sales girl about it, and she had no idea what I was talking about. I was about to go into their back rooms to rifle through boxes when I remembered that there was another Target not too far away!

So, ten minutes later I am in a Target Greatland, practically drooling over the fact that there are even MORE pieces here than the first Target!

So I got: amazing dress, perfect for work... and check out the neckline detail:

and

which is not only beautiful in the front the back is gorgeous too.... So Chloe-esq!

(And I'm wearing it today for Jeans Day at work- paired with black spectator pumps that have a ribbon tie at the top)

Almost Liberated...

2007-07-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

Libertine is out in stores in two days!!!

(Then why did a see a woman on the train yesterday with their adorable blue overnight bag with the white embroidered whales and skulls???)

Ah, What Is In A Name?

2007-07-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

So, these delicious, shiny Marc by Marc little wedges are just v.v. adorable, right? And they're my size, and only $99 down from $345. (but I won't say where they're from- I'm just that evil).

Now... I heart flats, I heart patent, and I heart heart heart Marc Jacobs!

So, therein lies the rub; do I want the shoes cos their M by M and such a steal, or am I completely unbiased about their cuteness?

Thank God For Go!

2007-06-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

These are the images from the new Go International line for Target. The designer is Libertine, which thank God, is so much edgier than the line (which will remain nameless) that is on the racks currently. That stuff (yes, stuff) is just so bland... How many times can we see a white three button tank top? Please, if you're going to do basics, that's fine, do it the Isaac Mizrahi way, where you're designing a line, but you're not there for just a month or so. I can accept Issac doing button down work shirts that yes, you could find somewhere else, but he's been almost a full-time designer for Target. He's no one-trick pony.

Anyway, back to the clothes:

I will absolutely be buying this dress. It's a good length; I can wear it to work and wear it out; and the neckline detailing helps make it stand out from all the other LBDs of the fashion world.
Well, I won't be getting the shorts (not cos they aren't cute, because they are), but because I'm not a shorts kinda gal. But the sweater looks kitchy and adorable, and I know I could rock that.
First of all, the entire outfit is wrong. She looks kinda bobsy-twins, 50's sock hop-ish. I've never been a fan of twinsets myself, and while I would wear the cardi, (specially with those pink bands at the wrists- I like the longer look of those), I would pair it with a different shirt underneath. ....but the skirt is just a no.
I think the horse polo is sweet, and I might get it and pair it under a white blazer and a deep khaki pant for work. The pants aren't bad either, but they look a bit short with those shoes.
I'm digging the tee, the detailing even in the thumbnail looks superb.

I like the jacket, but I can't help but think about High School Marching band Drum Majors.... And the pants seem to be big and loose, but still bunching at the ankle.
This is a better cardi-shirt pairing... but there's still SO much red happening here... the skirt and the cardi are a bit much together... maybe the skirt with a fitted top in maybe black or a navy....
I like this dress... for the red carpet... I think if anyone else wore it out they'd look like they're wearing lingerie... but maybe it looks different in person.
Oof. It's too 70's+80's ish for me... And from this distance the skirt and hat combo looks SO J. Crew.
V.v. cute, cute, cute! Although I now want to burn that hat, the rest of the outfit looks smashing, and I could see that top being tucked into that red skirt

Okay, this doesn't work. It's too striped. I adore the top, and I do like the big bows on everything these days... this would be great for work; tucked into a skirt or worn with pants. But not those pants.
If I were to title this outfit it would be called "Nice in Nantucket". I think it speaks for itself, but I am curious to see the blouse close up so I can distinguish the print.
I'm more bothered by the model than the outfit. The jacket is the only thing that saves it, otherwise it would look so mall.
Jesus. There's a jacket to match the pants and the shirt. Maybe, if I buy the entire outfit, I can wear it all together at once, and stand outside my house and spin, and then maybe, maybe guys will think it's a barber shop and go inside!

......But I still like that blouse.
Why is she snarling at me? Maybe she's upset about her outfit. Because I am.

Even though the bag is oh so J. Crew (or maybe even L.L. Bean), I like it. I could see myself using that as an overnight bag. And the coat isn't bad. And we all know how I feel about the shirt. I don't like the peek of shorts I see from behind the bag.... hike that bag up a little higher so we don't have to see any of those shorts.
Maybe she's wearing the pants wrong... maybe they'll look better on me (although I doubt that)... still not sure what's wrong with them... But I do like the bolero/cropped jacket thing. And is that bow part of the shirt or the jacket/bolero?
I adore skulls; I honestly don't care if they're in/out. Not sure about the pepto pink/kelly green combo. I wish the vest was pitch black, and the skulls/diamonds would then be less intense, but would be funky in a way I could wear to work.

Oh, and the shorts... I don't think bats are the next skulls/anchors/hearts.
Very Lolita. I like bib mini-dresses, although I'm sure it would look more like a nightgown on me. Or it would showcase my thighs, which is bad news too.
Trash the hat. For some reason the dress makes me think of Halloween.

The Devil Wears Payless?

2007-06-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

How Exciting! The Legendary Pat Field (costume stylist of magnificent works such as Sex & The City and The Devil Wears Prada), will be designing shoes for Payless!! I can't wait to see what creative designs she churns up!

Betcha Can't Have Just One!

2007-06-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

Adorable. Classy.

Never Too Much Navy.

Slither.
Wedge Or Stiletto?

Two-Toned.

Sandals.
A Little Glitz Never Hurt.

Which White?
Brighter Is Better.

A Little Shine Or A Lot?

Jellies Are Best On Bagels

2007-06-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

Sooo... if it doesn't look like a Jelly, is it still a Jelly?

They're Marc by Marc Jelly shoes, and they have them in my size for $30.

They don't look Jelly-like, they resemble perfectly acceptable shoes, almost woven, and peep toes are perfect for the season!

But, do they hurt like a Jelly?

TOP TEN FASHION ERRORS

2007-06-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

10. THE OVER THE TOP "SCI-FI" LOOK:

Okay, I get it, but seriously, no. No one needs clear plastic sunglasses that have clear lenses. It completely ruins the entire point of sunglasses! You need there to be some sort of darkish colored lens, otherwise they don't do their job, and you're left looking like you swiped goggles from first period chemistry lab. And the goggles were always so tight that they would cause instant migraines, which of course is why you did so bad in chemistry; and then you would have to go to your next class with deep indentations circled from above your eyebrows down to your cheeks. Not something I want to re-live, thanks.

And why would anyone want to look like 3CPO, really?

9. BIG TOPS WITH SKINNY PANTS/LEGGINGS:

This has been done.

I know that History repeats itself (and apparently fashion does too), but you would assume that we would have learned our lessons from the past and not repeat such terrible fashion choices.

But then again... wars happen again and again for the same stupid reasons, people start a relationship with cheaters and then are surprised when the person cheats on them, and overall it seems no one actually learns from their past. (too bad, because then maybe some things would actually get done in the world.)

The 80's came and brought bad fashion choices to the world. And it was proven then, that the big baggy top, skinny pant/legging does not look good/work on almost all women. Most women do not have stick legs, and for them this look makes them look preggers/lazy/both.

8. PEOPLE WITH BAGS WITH FAUX BRAND LOGOS (SPECIALLY THE OBVIOUS ONES):

This one always makes me laugh.

I use to work at the busiest restaurant in the richest, snootiest mall in New Jersey. Most of our clientele, (although the rudest people I've met in my entire life), could afford the "real deal" bags; Gucci, Fendi, Louis Vuitton, Coach, etc. Frequently I saw baby carriers and diaper bags covered in the logos, but that's another story... What I also saw were plenty of women who would come in with fake bags. Fake Coach bags with G's instead of C's, cheap nylon "Prada" bags that say "Panda" (not a joke), and the best/worst of them all: Louis Vuitton bags that have eyeballs instead of the typical symbols that come on the genuine bags. EYEBALLS! I'm sure all of the LV staff was rolling on the ground with laughter seeing teenagers walk into their store with LV EYEBALL bags, (that's as if anyone in the LV store would actually show emotion).

Please, please people. If you can't afford the real thing, I sympathize with you; but isn't it better to buy a real bag by a designer you can afford than to waste your cash on an obvious fake?

7. ROMPERS:

i.e. Onesies are for Babies, not grown women

I hope that I do not have to explain myself too much on this one. I think the pictures I included have helped me say almost everything. But in case you think that this is a look you might consider purchasing remember this; these are skinny, leggy, pin-thin models and they look paunchy, short-waisted and possessing some sort of gut (at least on the one with the belt). If they cannot pull this look off, you def. cannot.

For another example, here is LiLo attempting to look cool in a romper, although this is thwarted fully by the fact that it looks like she's wearing a very shiny, very full diaper.

6. SHORTS WORN TO FORMAL OCCASIONS/AT NIGHT IN THE FREEZING COLD:

What? Why?

Working in NYC/having a social life I tend to see some strange fashion choices that are worn in the wrong season. And I know that every other fashion blog in the bloggosphere has touched on this atrocity of fashion, but still. Maybe I'm jealous because I would never bring my thighs as a date on the red carpet, maybe I'm just highly disturbed by the fact that these people actually looked at the shorts and said to themselves, "Yes, this is EXACTLY what I should wear tonight to a formal event in 20F weather!"

And besides, I think this is what lead to their divorce:

5. CROCS:

Crocs are some of the worst footwear to come out in our time. I remember having Jelly shoes when I was a kid and thinking that those were the shit (give me a break, I was 5). And then last year I was in Funk & Standard and they had yellow (gold) sparkly jellies for $1, so I bought them. I mean, I blew a buck, who cares, right?

But Crocs are not even close to being Jellies. First off, when Jellies came out they were different and new, and most likely considered "shoes of the future". They were new then, but are done now. (I don't care how many designers made jelly shoes in their collections, no.)

Crocs have existed. They're called gardening clogs and L.L. Bean has sold them since the were only l.l. bean. They were almost cute then in their bright taxi-cab yellow, but still, just no.

Crocs are ugly, make your feet sweat(and then stink), and are some of the ugliest, clunky, and plasticy shoes out there. And as if they were not bad enough you can buy all sort of accessory pins to pierce your Crocs and make them even tackier.

They do not look good on anyone, anywhere, for any occasion.

Not even gardening.

4. LEGGINGS AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR PANTS:

Leggings are comfortable.

But.

Leggings are unflattering. While I still am against wearing them (personally) under a dress or skirt because I think they make my legs stubby, I am very disturbed by seeing people actually wear leggings instead of proper pants/jeans/shorts/something else for God's sake.

example one:

Seriously, you may have the loveliest cooter box in the world and I still do not wish to see it that up close and personal. Leggings outline everything that's going on with your business, and even if I'm not trying to look, I see.

example two:

(no, no, no.)

And even Celebrities cannot wear it. And they have paid "stylists" that drag clothes onto their drunken bodies in the morning.

example three:

Please remember to put your pants on before leaving the house.

3. HIGH-WAISTED WIDE-LEG PANTS:

Nothing with that many dashes needed to describe it can be a good thing.

Once again, bad fashion choices come and rear their ugly head. Listen people, why can't we learn from those who come before us? High-waisted pants make even the thinnest women look like they have guts. Or really, they look like they have "gunts". (Please, use your imagination; I once had to explain to my mother what "gunt" meant, and I'm not about to explain it to anyone else again.)

Observe:
This is Jessica Simpson. Regardless of what anyone may say about her, I think she's very pretty.

In this picture..... not so much.

There is a lot going on with her... lower area, and I'm not entirely sure what it is. Pockets? Pleats?

It looks like the 70's threw up on her and she figured, "oh, what the hell, I'll go out anyway, it's not like anyone will actually be there."

She forgot people take pictures of her.

But what's her excuse? She's actually performing.... she knew that there would be people staring at her.

2. IS IT A DRESS OR IS IT A SHIRT?:

There are myriads of stores filled with hundreds and thousands of these shirt/dresses, (not to be confused with a shirt-dress, that's something totally different), and likewise, there are hundreds and thousands of women actually wearing these awkwardly lengthed items.

I have been in Forever 21 (who are notorious for these), Express, H&M, etc. and been accosted by adorably printed top/dresses, and therefore been incredibly disappointed almost every time I've shopped recently.

Because something that seems too long to be a shirt, but yet is too short to be a dress will be bought by fashion-challenged women and worn incorrectly. (What would the correct way be?)

Some people try to pair it with pants, and then that just make you look stubby, because the top does not fit correctly, and if you have hips, the shirt will tend to hike up on them and thus, appear messy.

Some people try to wear them as a dress....

This is also a bad idea.

Example 1:

Terrible. I hope she didn't drop anything that night. Or raise her arms up. Or did anything that required her moving in case that she flashed her cooter box to the world.

I was getting sushi the other night and I saw a pantsless girl go racing from one hibachi section to another to get soy sauce. At first I thought "dear lord, someone stole that woman's pants!". But then I realized she made a fatal mistake; a longish shirt does not equal a dress, and therefore you are sharing your naughty bits with everyone.

.... but maybe that was the look you were going for.

1. WOMEN DRESSING FOR TRENDS AND NOT FOR WHAT LOOKS GOOD ON THEM:

Okay, so maybe it's cheesy, maybe it's obvious, but so many women dress for trends and NOT what looks best on their body.

While Miss Kate's purses tend to be boxy, there is no reason for her to appear as an inverted ice cream cone. The volume on volume is not a good look for anyone; the little or the big.

I completely love the tent-sack-volume dress look, I look like I am poorly attempting to hide a pregnancy. And while the "is-she-or-isn't-she" look is indeed trendy, it only works well on women who are skinny with legs for days, so that you would never assume they are preggers, just for the sheer fact that the rest of them is so slim.

This works for the thin women of the world:

This works v.v. well for Miss Cameron. With her boyish build and long lean legs, the higher-necked, snug fit mini dress is extremely flattering.

But just because you're thin does not mean you should drown yourself in clothes:

How did someone who normally looks slim and lovely manage to look like she's attempting to hide a beer gut?

My figure is that of Venus de Milo or Marylin Monroe; curvy, but never called slim. So, I try to accentuate my figure; belts on my natural waist, wrap dresses, anything to showcase my decolletage, no skirts above the knee. It works, it's flattering, and it's timeless.

This is a good look for curvy women:

Miss America here (that's her name, not her title), looks fantastic. The dress compliments her curves, and she does not look like she is drowning in fabric, nor does she look like a stuffed sausage.

Oh Kelly... no honey.... just, no.

Miss Kelly appears to have been stuffed into her pants, as well as her strangely tucked shirt. Is that a body-suit?? Please, please tell me that its NOT a body-suit!!

And I think it's good that she's not a twig, and that she has a womanly body, but not when she lets herself look like this....

Now I'd like to say that Miss Pat Field is an untouchable genius when it comes to costume styling....

But not when it comes to dressing herself.

I don't like this outfit, but I could had accepted it for Miss Pat Field... if it actually fit her well.

Instead she ends up looking like a space-dyed sausage...which would not be a good look for anyone, including actual sausage.

Now, Miss Katherine... she looks devine... while I would never call her "big", she is also not a twig, and she has wonderful curves...

And she dresses them (or, at least her stylist does), oh so v.v. well.

So Ladies, don't be a slave to trends; dress your body the way it deserves to be dressed: FABULOUSLY.